I’d like to start with an apology, I have been MIA for over a month now, I chalk that down to laziness and procrastination; I really should work on that.
Now this post will be one of my most personal and intimate posts. Like model and actress Kelly Brook wrote a book from the perspective of her breasts, this is very close to that.
Recently the butt, particularly the big butt has been receiving a lot of recognition and praise internationally, thanks in no small part to celebs the likes of Nikki Minaj, Vida Guerra, Kim K, Jlo even Beyonce.
Now for most African culture-and latin american culture I’m led to believe- the appreciation of the posterior has been around for generations and will likely be around for generations to come but even with that, the world’s sudden fascination and appreciation of this feature is still a big deal. Even though as an African woman living in an African country you will most likely be praised for it than ridiculed. Before very recently, the only big bootied woman you would see praised in the media is the lovely Miss Lopez.
While it is wonderful that these beautiful women have brought attention and appreciation to the big behind, I fear that it is now being considered a fad, a new hot “in” thing, the new trend and ultimately, a passing phase.
As you can imagine, for me and other backside well endowed women and little girls out there, it is not just a trend. It is our body shape, an intimate part of us, a feature that always invites attention, be it good or bad and will most likely be with us till we die. What is to happen when the trend passes? Obviously this isn’t something you can just throw out and move on to the next one.
I tried out modelling a few years back, the comment I’d mostly get is that I’m not shaped like a model and at 1.63m -5ft 4″- I’d maybe get that I’m not tall enough once in a while. And in my early years of puberty I’d get mercilessly teased for my backside by my peers, boys and girls alike as my bottom was first to appear before my breast and hips. But all that changed once I grew boobs and hips and the boys grew up and realised they liked butts. Though even after then there’d be a few people here and there who’d voice out they didn’t like my body shape. All this can be very confusing for a teenager, you are suddenly made aware of your looks, you are expected and required to look a certain way and no mercy is shown if you do not cut it. Children and teens can be very hurtful.
This led me into the world of confusion and exercise, firstly to lose by butt and when suddenly my butt was wonderful, to lose my tummy fat that I’ve struggled with forever and only seems to be just now losing its grip on me. But with working out to lose my tummy fat, I also lost a few inches off my precious behind…dilemma-keep big butt with tummy fat or lose tummy fat and lose butt bigness- decided to go with the no belly fat route and indeed my behind is not as pronounced as it was a few years ago, but with regular squats I show it some love and attention.
It has been a long road into the journey of accepting and loving myself just the way I am. Most of it had to happen in a world where u would not see big booty women on TV or magazines and I was a magazine fanatic as a teen. I’d have given anything to look like those girls. I came to accept my butt, love it and almost have a mini heart attack at the prospect of losing it as it had become part of my identity. Chechiwa: The bubbly big butted girl with pretty eyes someone once called me. I owed that, and I still own it.
Had an interesting and heated debate about it with my boyfriend yesterday, he insisted that people-mostly black people- should stop seeking validation from other people and find it for themselves, while that is true, it is also important that all body shapes are appreciated as beautiful by everyone. Let big breasts, buttocks, hips, small breast, buttocks, hips always be the in thing and not have our little girls made to feel any less attractive because they have it or they don’t.
I wrote an article on how I wanted my big booty back. My jeans are still a little loose, it makes me a little sad but I am no longer as panicked about it, I eat well, I exercise regularly, I am healthy, my skin is glowing, my cellulite and stretch marks fading-comes with the territory when you are a woman, especially a curvy one, though I attribute the stretch mark disappearance to the use of coconut oil as body lotion. I am in a generally happy place body image-wise. The stresses that were a contributing factor to making me lose weight rapidly? Well, those are mostly still there but that’s a blog post for another day…